UNSPOKEN THOUGHTS

counting til dog days are over

2011-11-22T22:51:00.002+08:00

they say it can pretty lonely at the top.
i'm not yet on top, i'm pretty lonely.
i miss you.
i hate that i miss you.

Ikan

2011-08-23T21:48:00.000+08:00

Kau tak hensem,
Kau tak cool,
Kau bukan hipster,
Mahupun trendsetter.
Kau dan aku dari dunia berbeza.
Kau makan ikan, aku makan ayam.
Kau langit, aku bumi.
Kau jerung, aku dolpin.
Kau buat aku rasa diri aku tak penting pun bagi kau.

Tapi

Kau comel.
Kau buat aku senyum,
Kau ubercool dengan pendapat kau,
Kau bercakap, aku diam, dengar, terpikat.
Kau, buat aku belajar masak ikan.

Kau, kau tahu tak?
Aku cuba sedaya upaya.
Aku tak berjaya.
Aku pergi.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

sailing

2011-07-27T03:09:00.000+08:00

i'm sailing,
flowing across the sea,
up north, down south,
where ever the wind takes me.

i'm sailing,
across the sea,
the huge sea,
the sea of hope,
when i stumble upon the island.

i'm sailing,
when i saw the island,
i stop,
i walk,
i left the island.

i'm sailing,
i'm sailing,
i'm sailing,
when i realise i miss the island and it's nature.

i'm sailing,
and i'm missing the island.

the need to stop but not wanting to stop

2011-07-22T00:35:00.000+08:00

it's an addiction.
i miss him, but i don't want to miss him yet i do not want not to miss him.
complicated, si?

if i could turn back time, i would not done things differently.
I would still say no.

but, here comes the but..
if did ask me again, this time around, the answer would not be the same.
but, *another but*
i don't think he will ask again.

:(

excuse me while i go indulge in a bit of damien rice. his sorrow gives me hope.. ??

Coldplay - What a Wonderful World & Fix You - Glastonbury 2011 (HD)

2011-07-06T18:02:00.000+08:00

i cried watching this. this is beautiful.

lights will guide you home and ignite your bones, and i will try to fix you.

beautiful. beautiful. beautiful.

Lovebite

2011-06-18T02:06:00.000+08:00

A big tree

Two birds under a big tree
The tree is green
The tree is tall
The tree is bushy

Two birds under a big tree
The tree is has fallen leaves
The tree got shorter
The tree no longer a big tree

Two birds under a big tree
The tree is bald
The tree was cut down
The tree is dead

Two bird chirping,
Under a dead tree.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

C

2011-06-16T17:58:00.002+08:00

you're like a drug.
you keep me awake,
you keep me high.

i want you every morning,
i want you every night.

i know you're bad for me,
i know i should not rely on you,
i know we should be together all the time,
but i love you.

too bad,
our love has gone too strong,
i can't say no to you anymore,
i love you so much,
i have fallen too deep.

i love you, coffee.

weeping

2011-06-14T17:06:00.003+08:00

i sit on the bed,
dreaming,
hoping,
weeping.

i know this tears won't do any good.
i know this dream won't come true.
i know not to get my hopes high.

but the beauty of life is
tomorrow, i don't know, you don't know,we don't know.

hildaa-

you #2

2011-04-15T01:31:00.000+08:00

you, macam mana nak cakap yang i suka kat you eh?
you nak tunggu i buzz you dalam facebook. hehehe. malulah!
kalau setakat tweet ataupun like status fb tu ada-la sedikit keberanian.
tapi entah lah, macam takde harapan je.
biarlah i bermimpi siang dan malam hari seorang.
:)

tapi you memang sweet. bertuah siapa dapat you :)

hilda-----

amaze at life.

2011-04-06T22:00:00.002+08:00

i am amaze at how a person can find the person that they like and that person like them back.

i never seem to get the guy i like to like me back. :(

hilda----

september

2011-03-20T21:45:00.000+08:00

so, i'll be in penang til september.
although, i'm not sure that i will be really in penang or i'll be fulfilling my time traveling across the world.hehehe

so, september is when i'll continuing my studies. pray to god.
so, september. it's like 6 months plus to go.
arghhh, i sort of miss studying. i miss those late night discussion. i miss cuci mata at the cafe, i miss socialising in KL. miss it. :(

so, life in penang is life. practical ; 8-5, monday to friday. by the time i get home, i force myself for a jog, but fail most of the time. then at night, spent my life doing reports and social networking. so, love life. hrmm, basically none. did flirt on fb. didn't turn out well. off social flirting. hehehehe :P

i think i need a real relationship. not an online one. the online relationship reminds me of highschool love life. puppy love. hehehe. over it! :P i need a relationship with real conversation. with voice, with touch, with a face. not just some random smiley to express ones emotion. arghhh, pretty depressing state i'm in right now.

not only i'm in a depressing mood, i'm in a confusing state; do i want to be alone? do i need someone to be on my side? do i want a partner? am i ready? arghhh.

i wish i could go back to times when i worried is me.

hilda--

my momma says

2011-03-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

when it comes to a dream guy, have a dream.
so, when a certain guy do what you dream of without you telling him what it is,
you'll know he's the right guy.

just like what my dad did.

:)

what is my dream? hehehe, you need to figure it yourself!

Sungai Lui

2011-03-09T21:15:00.001+08:00

satu benda, banyak interpretasinya.
macam sungai lui ni. saya pernah terbaca yang lagu ini mengenai rakan aizat yang duduk di sungai Lui.
ikan kecik dan kekasih hatinya memahami lagu ini sebagai satu tanda kepercayaan.
saya, saya rasa sungai lui ini adalah satu 'comfort zone' kita.
comfort zone dalam conteks ini tidak bermaksud satu tempat. ia satu yang subjektif.
mungkin orang, mungkin satu rutin hidup.
tidak kisahlah, tetapi satu benda yang buat kita tenang.
macam lagu sungai lui ini.

lagu sungai lui ini telah menginspirasi kan gambar-gambar yang di tangkap semasa satu rutin hidup saya; jogging di petang hari.

intrpretasi masing-masing.

apa yang anda faham?

olive you

2011-02-27T13:00:00.000+08:00

life's starting to get back to normal, whatever normal is.

although someone is trying to ruin my current happiness, i'm just gonna say ; shame on you and pathetic to that person and moves on. because my best friend thinks i'm optimistic ( yeah, i'm surprised too)
so, i'm living up to her expectation :)

smile and may you have an awesome day ahead of you

hildaaaa--

the little bubble.

2011-02-21T23:42:00.001+08:00

my best friend has bigger problem than me.
when i called to talk to her just now, just to lend her my ears, she asked me, whether i'm fine.
despite being in an emotional turbulence, i cant say i'm not fine, when my problem is nothing compared to hers. be strong mak. me and ikan kecik is always there for you. and allah is always there. be strong. just like me trying to be strong here. :)

and i miss you, of course.

need to stop

2011-02-20T23:58:00.000+08:00

yes, i need to stop doing few things.
including the regular chocotop with ikan kecik.
although that's gonna be hard because that's the cure to our sorrow heart.
apparently, the sugary chocotop can mend a broken heart.
maybe, i can have the occasional chocotop and have an hour jogging instead of the 45 mins of jog.

deal :)

ps: i think i'll just go back to crushing on serge. he wont break my heart for the least.

hildaaaaa--

chelsea dagger

2011-02-20T13:39:00.001+08:00

unlucky in love
lucky in life.
but i love life.

hilda-

digestive system

2011-02-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

#random

mama suruh cut down caffeine. terbaiklah.

and collar bone sudah muncul. agak gembira. nnti nampak hipbone mesti gembira jugak. tambahan bila dapat lihat gap in between the thigh.

ini focus hidup sekarang.

rindu baba sikit jugaklah

2011-02-13T19:20:00.000+08:00

tiap-tiap malam mama akan duduk dalam office (aka bilik tv) tgk tv melepasi her bedtime.
motif; baba outstation sebulan. so, seorg-seorg jelah mama dlm bilik tv.
kalau tak pun, nnti dia kat atas dalam bilik online facebook.
lately ni sangat rajin my mum online. kadang-kadang dia chat suruh ambil ni, buat tu, buat ni.

so, motif blog bukan pasal parents walaupun esok VDAY.
motif blog sbb SIMPLICITY.
sebut dia mcm make up siti nurhaliza simply siti.
tapi takde pun kena mengena dgn siti pun blog ni..

okay, back to the topic. few days before baba left, we have this usually discussion in the car while on the way to some kenduri, i think.

so, for the first time in my life, dad sort of agree with my theory.
i propose that why lives life in a complicated manner when god gives you an option to live a simple life?
for instance, automatic cars. why bother driving a manual car when you can drive an auto cars that doesnt require you to constanly manually change the gear.
and smart tag, why bother queing and opening your window car when you can just pass thru the toll.

life is a simple, you choose not to live it that way. you're the one facing the headache.

ps: to live a simple ways may require more money, but you only pay once. pay more, less headache, less hypertension, less stroke, less patient for me. hehehheehe

hilda----

taylor swift kau sengaja

2011-02-13T12:49:00.000+08:00

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around

(TAYLOR SWIFT, back to december)

you think i'll go and swallow my pride, no.
not yet.
not this time.
but i never say never.

hildaaa--

penamat

2011-02-12T11:19:00.001+08:00

nada, end, bye.

THE END.

growing up as hizam eldest child and daughter.

2011-02-06T14:58:00.000+08:00

so, growing up. most of my friend would know that i'm a bit stingy.
stingy is a harsh word but i'm feeling a bit dramatic today, so what the hell?

so, yeah. growing up we're taught on the value of money although money wasnt the major issue in life.
we have to work for money, although some people wont believe it.
some sees me as a pampered girl. no, i may portray that but it's not like that.

i dont shop hard. but sometimes i do when there's pretty clothes and it's sales.
i dont spent money like water.
i calculate my expenses.
the last time i shop is likeeeee long time ago.

but dont get me wrong, i love shopping.
but i'm not an impulsive buyer.

bet you wouldnt agree with me if you see my wardrobe.
I <3 my wardrobe

i need you understand.

2011-02-05T11:19:00.001+08:00

taylor swift sings what every girl feels.
bruno mars sings what every girl want to hear.
travie mc coy sings what i want to tell you.

damien rice sings to make me cry
coldplay sings me to sleep.

hildaaa

akan ku pancar cahayaaa.

2011-02-05T11:12:00.000+08:00

selagi jasadku belum terkubur
belum terkubur
belum terkubur

selagi tubuhku belum di timpa uzur
belum ditimpa
belum ditimpa

pantang datuk nenek moyang ku berundur.

few man i trust in my life

2011-01-29T00:29:00.000+08:00

i have problem in trusting people.
so,when it comes to trusting man.
that is hard.

growing up, two of man in my life guide me to the man out there.
so, basically without me noticing, i fall for the guy that are almost similar to them.
one thing that this two man have in common is they are player.

so, as a girl, i keep viewing all guy is a player.
and my plan is to counter attack.

hilda

winner gets it all

2011-01-24T02:51:00.002+08:00

bila i bukak mangga di hati ni.
harap-harap tak de lah orang pecahkannya.
sebab bukan senang nak bukak mangga ni.
penat mencari kunci siang malam.
dah boleh bukak, jangan take for granted ye.

hilda--

hellllo world

2011-01-21T02:56:00.001+08:00

it's gonna end soon.

i'm gonna leave them.

i'm definitely gonna miss them.

petak,ciput,bakri and shah.

you shall be missed.

you are amazing bunch of people.

i wish all of you (except bak since he got ika already) would find you dream girl. ngengnenge

hilda

because mum knows best

2010-12-24T15:36:00.000+08:00

so, according to my mother, who apparently knows everything, the things in my mind are ; magazines and allowance.

unlike most of my friends i'm not attached to anyone or any loan. so i'm free to roam and work anywhere i want after i graduate. yes, seriously, anywhere.

that's the perks of having your parents paying your school fees.

so, yeah, a bit off from the what i wanted to share. so, last night, like most of the time when it's almost end of the month, i will drive madly around town searching for my dosage of cleo. i don't really know why;the articles are not really that important. maybe just because i'm a girl. yes, girl is confusing.

no cleo, but end up at kiosk in front of our house. had some intense discussion with halina.
this pop in my mind;

you wish for something, when you get it. it's weird. you aren't use to it.
as the new year approaching, i think i might develop a phobia. phobia of something new, changes.

yes, i think i need some rehabilitation

Payung,shades, cake, iPod, buku dan diriku.

2010-12-21T16:44:00.001+08:00

Entri ini ditaip di tepi pantai. Bila tengah hari depress tak nak bangun dari katil dan tak nak makan, pandai-pandai pujuk diri agar 'get out of the house'. Adik2 dah hilang tah kemana, aku pun ambil kunci kereta, minyak full lagi (i love you mama) dan pergi beli kek. Mama ckp Kalau nak makan kek, beli yg mahal sbb quality and nnti mesti beli one slice sahaja (dasar kedekut)

So, dgn kek dlm beg, aku ke 'tempatku'

Disini aku seorang. Walaupun ada nelayan sedang menjala dan kanak2 bermain.

Aku seorang.

Loser? Mungkin ya dan tidak.

Aku suka sekarang.
Walaupun jiwa kacau, aku tetap suka.

HILDA, bila kau tak jiwa kacau?

Ha, jawapan tu aku pun tak pasti.

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RPandPGR

2010-12-20T18:16:00.001+08:00

Growing up, I live by the beach. Love those days. I took it for granted. Not jogging everyday back then. But I did spent my evening by the field near the beach. People watching. The best job in the world. Back then I have a crush on a boy named Thomas. Hehehe. Owh, back then we got our stuff from this sundry shop. Can't remember the name but the owner is uncle gopal.

Flash forward, now living in this gated community I still jog every evening. Now all I see is palm trees and golf course. Owh, not forgetting budak2 kecik cycling, playing football. It's safe here. Here, we get our stuff from lucky store. A sundry shop own/manage by an Indian family. Owh, uncle gopal also manage his shop with his wife and sons. So, my point of this entry beside reminiscing my childhood years is well, did u spot the similarity of our sundry shop.

We did shop at the bumiputra-owner sundry shop near our house. Dad prefer the latter, I prefer the latter too since it's nearer. But tooo bad it's now closed. Competition? No sundry shop around that area. Management? No comment.

Just my 2 cent during my jiwa kacau period.

Ps: when my dad complains of something 'malay' I would say "baba tu bukan Malay ka?"
Baba would reply " I'm half Chinese"

So, given that I'm quarter (half boiled as my teacher would say) Chinese, almost quarter Indian and the rest of malay,Siam or whatever. I have the right,right?

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lesson in life

2010-12-15T22:56:00.000+08:00

well, i was driving halina and hanif from school today and halina told me that the singer from lady antebellum failed american idol audition twice.

so, here my chance to insert some life lesson to them.
yes, i'm becoming a big sis from day to day.

i told them that if we fail doesn't means we fail forever.
maybe god have something better plan for us.

yes. then this bothered my for a while. i'm thinking of changing course for my degree. but of course it's gonna take more years of studying which i don't mind. but i'm afraid. changes. yes, but obama says change, yes we can.

let me persuade myself, that i can.

hilda-

NICK CARTER AND NICK HEIDFELD

2010-12-09T19:47:00.000+08:00

petang-petang saya bangun dari couch kat depan tv or kerusi empuk depan meja study dlm bilik utk pergi jalan-jalan keliling PGR.

ini adalah routine utk mendapatkan kaki alexa chung.

apa yang menarik perhatian saya ketika saya berjalan-jalan ialah 2 orang nik.
hehehehe.

kat taman saya ada kembar yang bernama nik. saya tak pasti nama penuh mereka. tiap-tiap petang mereka akan bermain bola di halaman rumah mereka. rumah mereka ialah corner lot. oleh itu, saya akan lalu di sebelah rumah mereka. saya berasa mereka sangat comel bermain bola. Nik A akan menendang bola ke Nik B, kemudiannya Nik B akan menendang bola ke Nik A.sangat comel routine itu. mcm bermain bola berirama. TAPI, comel dalam context, 'alahai comelnya bayi ini'. Ini kerana mereka terlalu muda utk saya dan terlalu muda. yup, terlalu muda.

owh, itu je yg nak cerita. kecomelan hari ini.

2010-12-08T01:35:00.000+08:00

i try to type my feeling. but end up erase it because what i write could not match up to what he wrote.

his words, his feeling.

now i remember why i fall head over heel at him.

argh,

i should stop reading his blog, but damn, it's interesting

Courage teach me to be shy

2010-12-05T04:48:00.001+08:00

Cannonball is longer when you cried while listening it.

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Instant Photoshop

2010-12-04T05:00:00.000+08:00

Rules don't stop me

Glastonbury 2010-crowd gone mad during florence's you got the live

Those legs- glastonbury 2010

I kiss your mouth

2010-12-04T04:48:00.001+08:00

Damien Rice + Lisa Hannigan - volcano

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sad but true part deux

2010-12-04T01:30:00.000+08:00

one things that i love growing up is to listen to rick dees weekly top 40 on weekends.

so, every year, few weeks before the year end, rick dees weekly top forty would compile the top 100 songs of the year. year by year i would wait for the num 1 song of the year. or Google it since i don't listen to radio nowadays except in the car.

sad but true, this came to me while i went jogging few days ago;

i predicted this song of the year gonna be Gaga's Bad Romance.

soo, lets wait and see.

hilda-

sad but true part 1

2010-12-03T01:16:00.002+08:00

i need a boyfriend.

BANJIR TANAH MERAH

2010-11-29T23:18:00.001+08:00

british guys are worth drooling for.

okay.

suddenly, old acquaintances start popping into life like pimples popping before period.

i appreciate it.

did i enjoy it?

i do.

so, i was rearranging my magazine just now, then i realise, no matter how much you try to hold on to that moment, it's gonna pass.

i looked back at those magazines, those clothes they feature are so out of date, the articles sounded so lame.

those things that i hold on to in the past, has become outdated.

so, i hope one day i look at this, and think the same.

hilda--

As we grow up we don’t lose friends. We just learn who our real ones are

2010-11-29T13:41:00.000+08:00

Growing up,

I made friends,

Lose some.

I think i'm so over the 'taknak kawan' phase as now we are adult.

yes, we are definitely adult but i'm not sure we are mature.

i may said, i'm way over the denial, self blame and anger phase.

i'm in the acceptance phase.

but.

still, i'm trying to find a word to describe my feeling. but i can't.

i'm trying to find a song to express my feeling toward you. because i'm out words to express those anger and betrayal and sadness i have inside.

i'm trying to make it work, i don't try to make it work. damn.

MAKE IT WORK

hildaaaa--

my life is kinda boring,

2010-11-26T13:12:00.001+08:00

i need something to get off my chest.

okay, my update lately sangat merapu.
so, here's the reason why;

mengalahkan entrepreneur gitu kan?

but bear with me.

i'm gonna merapu more.

so, life on the holidays is pretty normal la.

dah biasa bab menjaga adik2 time sem break dan ibu bapa pergi honeymoon.

tapi this is the first time without any ~~old~~ matured adult at home.

tapi i'm fine.

okay, tu je blh update.

now i got to sent my brothers to the mosque for friday prayer.

then,pick them up and terus to airport.

and yes, then life is back to normal.

maybe next blog i'll blog on what my parents got me from land of ikea. itu lagi ganas dari status di facebook. opps.

<3 <3 <3

hilda-----

hilda's attempt setting the record.

2010-11-25T22:02:00.001+08:00

i'm now on my skipping break.

my record is to do 5 min of continuously skipping rope. hahaha.
i think it was 3 minutes when i accidentally pressed the reset button on the skipping rope. okay, alasan.

my mak is coming from kelantan. so mek kelantan, ikan kecik kulim and miss blur penang will take on penang. nantikan.

okay, actually i wanted to blog on some thoughtful thought. tp i'm blacking out right now. so bear with me..

and damien rice is so goooooood!

bruno mars pun gooood jugak.

hildaaaa---

simplicity

2010-11-22T18:52:00.000+08:00

mom always says it.

i like it.

simple.

no hidden message.

yup, i'll try.

my best.

hilda-

hello rabbit di luar bilik saya.

2010-11-20T15:38:00.000+08:00

kalau nak tahu, rabbit hanif punya space lagi besar dari my room.
okay, namum begitu saya amat besyukur dengan my room.
this blog is not regarding hanif's rabbit. the rabbit happens to pass by while i'm writing this so, tetiba flight of ideas.

okay, i'm actually channeling the thoughts that been through my head for the past couple of days.
so, i'm twenty years old. just receive the two at the beginning of my age like two months ago.

saya rasa saya masih muda, naive dan seharusnya mudaaaaaaa.

okay, namun begitu ramai yang sudah risau mengenai status : single dan tidak layak di nikahi saya.

sebenarnya. saya suka hidup single ni.
saya ada amazing friends yang memahami saya.
dia org dengar apa yang saya merapu. like seriously dengar. tak sangka korang pay attention jugak eh.
saya suka keluar hu ha hu ha dengan kawan sambil cuci mata.
tak payah rasa guilty cuci mata sini sana.

buat masa ni saya gembira crush sini sana,
tidur malam tak payah call someone,
just dengar ipod lepas tu telelap.

tapi, kalau mamat teater ke, pekerja M**A muka mcm ZA tu masuk line. i consider okay.

ciao

hildaaa---

UNTUK KAWAN-KAWAN YANG KITA SAYANG 2

2010-11-18T17:11:00.000+08:00

bruno mars sings what every girls want to hear.

this song is dedicated to my sayang-sayang that been thru thick and thin for the past 2 and half years.
you know who you are.

you and me might not see eye to eye sometimes.
we bitch about each other or others.
but in the end, i know i could count on you.
you'll gonna be there.
you're my family.

i LOVE you.
yes, LOVE.

and i kick myself sometimes for not realising these feeling before. now that you gone, i regret not smiling everyday when i'm with you.

dari alamanda,
angkat barang ke puncak alam,
aku hanya seorang hamba,
yang sayangkan korang dari pagi sampai malam.

hilda-----

kepada rakan-rakan yang kita sayang.

2010-11-17T03:33:00.000+08:00

okay, hari ni kembali bertugas sebagai PA dan drive personal pn K.
awal pagi mendaftar diri berkerja. breakfast dengan 2 tin coffee, roti dengan rendang tok dan beberapa kuih shortbread. (damn raya, ganggu dietku)

so, pergi photostate plan projek PN K. jumpa chinese guy yg kerja kat kdi gambar tu. *suka*
dah berapa lama crush pun tak ingat. tak dapat2 lagi. ehehhehe

then, pergi office mara. bab office ni tak berapa suka sbb attire, que yg panjang but...
quee tak panjang pun and that guy yg kerja kat situ muka macam ZA. like seriously. dahla comel. adui rugi tak ngorat. damnnn..

tak exercise sbb ptg tu gila ribut, nak pergi ambil dobi pun tak jadi.

Kepada maks sekalian yg ingin gambar bilik:

HILDA HIZAM PRESENT MY NEW ROOOM!!!!!

toilet

toilet v2

wardrobe; walk in tapi dlm tu ada besi utk gantung baju.hehhehe

wardrobe bwh tangga ala2 bilik harry potter kat rumah aunt dia. hehehe

tempat accessories.

shelf letak mags and books.

bilik kalau pasang lampu tidur.

kepada maks, dtg lah. i tunggu korang ni,

loveee, hildaaaaaaaa-

gembira in the land of HILDA.

2010-11-11T00:21:00.000+08:00

Hari ini saya mendapat berita gembira.
bukan berita pun.
tapi lebih kepada kesedaran diri sendiri.

hari ini aku dapat tahu sesuatu.
sesuatu yang aku berusaha siang malam.
kini aku dapat lihat sendiri hasilnya,
lalu aku senyum keriangan.

hilda------

you got the loveeeeeeeeeee

2010-11-09T01:36:00.001+08:00

okay, two important things;

1. no more obsessing alexa chungs leg. hopefully. now it's the healthy, toned florence's legs.

2. see how florence try hard flirting with dizzee. i saw an interview before/after the performance, she's like crushing so hard on dizzee.

rasanya dizzee nak tak? florence tu kira hot jugak lah kan. tapi manusia ni pelik. Lisa suri pun tak nak kat Farid Kamil or vice versa.

life, yes or no.

tak se-simple tu.

life bukan black or white.

it's colourful.

People have a colouful personality .( pernah tulis dlm essay kat sek,tp my english teacher ckp, there's no term like colourful personality.)

lantaklah,

hildaaaaaa----

one paper left, yes

2010-11-07T16:26:00.003+08:00

rindu nak makan kat sini

bee cheww

goodbye

vindicated.

hildaaaaaa-

bila dah siap case study, mood study tak dak

2010-11-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

kita buka paint buat quote mcm dalam tumblr tu kan?

cool tak halina. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

ENJOY!

yours truly bored final year student,
hildaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

AKU yang tidak layak di nikahi lagi.

2010-11-02T12:49:00.001+08:00

aku seorang perempuan. gadis belum lagi wanita.
aku seorang gadis kacukan; melayu, cina, india.
aku seorang warganegara Malaysia dan berbangsa Malaysia.
tapi kalau isi borang, aku tick je Malay. sebab takde column bangsa Malaysia.
Aku tak nak elaborate pasal bangsa Malaysia, nnti my humble blog ni kena banned tak pasal-pasal.

kawan aku cakap aku jarang blog dalam bahasa.
aku boleh bertutur dalam bahasa malaysia.
aku boleh bertutur dalam bahasa inggeris.
aku ada lidah belit bak kata rakan-rakan rapatku.

hobi aku, tangkap gambar, dengar music, membaca dan tangkap dalam.
aku blur sikit.
tapi dalam pelajaran aku tak lah blur sangat.

aku ada family yang terbaik di dunia.
bapak aku, seorang engineer. yang sebenarnya bercita-cita ingin menjadi nelayan moden.
mak aku, seorang suri rumah cum kontraktor kecil-kecilan.
aku anak yang sulung.
adikku, Hafiz, seorang pelajar yang di bayar AET utk belajar ilmu2 perkapalan.
adikku, Halina, seorang pelajar yang masih mencari diri sendiri di sekolah menengah dan gemar bermain alat music drum dan guitar.
adikku, Hifny, seorang pelajar yg bijak, tapi sangat blur gila (lagi blur dari aku) dia gemar berguitar, bermain computer games dan menonton history channel. Dia juga mempunyai intrest yang tinggi terhadap terrorist dan pistol/machinegun dan dll.
adikku,bongsu, Hanif, seorang pelajar yang baru saja menghabiskan UPSR. dia seorang yg annoying. dia cuba untuk dirinya tidak di buli oleh kakak dan abangnya. tapi cubaannya gagal. dia tidak boleh bermain alat music, mempunyai minat terhadap music2 oldies dan gemar menonton history channel, nat geo, discovery channel. dia tidak mempunyai cita2 yang tetap kerana cita-citanya bergantung kepada Hafiz.

aku punya rakan2 yang amazing.

rakan-rakan di SKTS: you're amazing. rindu :)
rakan-rakan di highschool; aku cherish friendship korang sampai bila-bila. I truly love korang.
rakan-rakan di Uni ni: korang terbaik lah. membantu aku mengharungi 3 tahun ni. korang trully understand me. aku agak terharu apabila aku express aku punya feeling, then korang cakap, "well, hilda, kita orang tahu. nampak hilda mmg tarik tali." terbaik lah. I love YOU guys too!

HILDAAA-

tangkap dalam.

2010-10-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

hilda tau mana dia bukan the right guy.
wooo, tangkap dalam betul soalan my roomie ni.

ada seorg kawan rapat selalu cakap, don't give hope.
ada seorg kawan rapat jugak selalu cakap, cuba je hilda.

sekarang ni macam mana?
kita senang-senang bagi advise kat kawan2 suruh dengar kata hati.
tapi sendiri mahu dengar kata hati.
hrmmm, susah!

hidup,

hilda---

'IDOLA' saya

2010-10-27T16:37:00.000+08:00

setelah kembali ke tanah tumpahnya peluh keringatku, plan utk menambahkan hotness kembali on.
Plan menjadi lebih mudah apabila gym kini telah dibuka.
tidak perlu lagi naik turun bukit puncak alam utk kaki Alexa Chung (pic)
hanya perlu ke gym dan berjalan ala 'lengang-lengang kangkung' di atas treadmill.
ataupun mengayuh basikal ala le tour de Langkawi di atas stationary bike. :)

so, setelah naik turun weighting machine, dia menunjukan sedikit perubahan pada nombor. senyum kambing sebentar ehh.

blog ini mahu saya tujukan kepada sumber inspirasi saya. kalau di baca dia tak paham pun tapi. persetankan!

ALEXA CHUNG. perempuan mat salleh kacukan British dengan Chinese.
kakinya woooooahhh, panjang siott

yup, macam impossible kan nak dapat kaki tu. tapi di mana kemahuan, disitu ada jalan.

saya cuma mahukan kaki itu,

tak nak boyfriend dia; yg jiwa kacau, hensem, lead singer of one of UK top band. tu semua taknakkkkkk!

saya cuma mahukan kaki itu,

taknak pun MULBERRY namakan beg sempena nama saya. taknak tuuuu.

ni semua taknak. aku cuma mahukan kaki itu :)

hilda--

ps:: juga ingin di ucapkan terima kasih kepada rakan2 yg menyokong dari segi physical, mental, psychological.

ye, korang banyak memberi sokong. especially you. (you know who you are) :P

the up and down of life

2010-10-26T14:24:00.000+08:00

one day you're on you way back from melaka.
then, the next day you're studying like there's no tommorow.
then, the next day, you're relaxing like there's no exam.

right now, you're wide awake editing picture.

life, what a bliss.

the power is in your hand to decide that life's a bliss.

but there's a day you feel like shit.

right now, i don't.

and i cherish days like this.

and the people i'm with.

love, hildaaaaaa-

I should take my time

2010-10-22T19:06:00.001+08:00

i love the little things in life that makes me smile.

for instance, yesterday, when i wandering aimlessly TESCO, i found this ferry receipt to pulau besar in my pocket.
it makes me smile.

i love these moment in life.

i also love when it rain.
and i lay down in my bed, reading a book while listening to ipod. <3

i love when i walk around my housing area.
listening to ipod.

i love it when,
i just sent my friends home after a day out.
singing to the song on the radio and smiling to myself on how much fun i had that day.

okay, i'm out of words.

and right now, i *heart* MELAKA.

i <3 malaysia

i <3 melaka!

kenapa kami tidak layak di nikahi lagi.

anak2 malaysia yg masih tidak pasti tahap kemerdekaan diri.

YOU HAVE BEEN AWESOME.

hildaaa-

engkau lah destinasiku

2010-10-21T11:50:00.000+08:00

i watch my friend falls out of love, swore not to rush into love and fall in love.

love, a simple words.
but like all other simple words (eat, hilda) it has a big impact on us.

love,
it's the one that makes us stay up late at night,
by the laptop.

love,
it's the one that makes us stop eating.

love,
it's the one that gives us strength to jog up down the puncak alam.

love,
it's the one that makes you started to listen to malay song.

love,
it's the one that makes you moody.

love,
it's the one that makes you smile like crazy.

love,
it's the one that makes you cry.

love,
it's the one that makes you smile.

LOVE- a four letter words that we take for granted. you say it like it has no meaning. that's why i don't say it very often.

hanyut

2010-10-19T18:53:00.000+08:00

aku hanyut,
tolonglah ingatkan aku.

perasaan yang datang dan pergi.
aku tak suka.
aku dah penat bermain.
aku dah penat ketawa.
aku dah penat.

aku hanya mahu tersenyum melihat mu.

i'm lovin it.

hilda---

self harm

2010-10-17T23:00:00.000+08:00

sabtu di pulau besar,

gambar2 yg mcm tak layak masuk FB.

LUKA INI MEMBUKTIKAN KENANGAN DI PULAU BESAR BUKANLAH MAINAN MIMPI.

hildaaaaaaaa-

how many Man Utd player needed to change a light bulb?

2010-10-15T20:17:00.000+08:00

the title is totally random.

how many camera is needed in making of this photo?

in the previous post, i blog on how bad i want the lumix gf1.

it turns out that it cost like 3 thousand plus. better get a basic slr. but i don't want a slr yet.

so, i just found this new camera that have the features i wanted and not really expensive.

so, now i want a canon powershot s95!!!!!!!!

ps: this is a metaphore of life, if you really dig deeper.

hilda---

baruku sedari sam bunkface tu agak comel.

2010-10-12T00:08:00.000+08:00

okay, agak ketinggalan. tapi to hell with it.
aku rasa aku nak persetakanlah semua feeling aku ni.
aku pun tak tahu macam mana.

before you love others, you have to love yourself first.
so, nak bertambah hotness sebelum love tu datang.
and MAKKKKKKKK, i miss hanging out with youuuu!

hilda---

happy for the day you're born

2010-10-09T14:42:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to the late JOHN LENNON!!!!!!!

i was spending the morning explaining to my friends the reason behind hey jude song not realising it's john lennon bday!!!!!

may your legacy live!!

when life gives you lemon, make a lemon cake

2010-10-06T00:37:00.002+08:00

hilda hizam misses her mom terribly.

hilda hizam also misses her dad terribly.

hilda hizam misses her bed terribly.

right now, my friend is playing jason derulo's in my head so loudly that i could hear even though it's on earphone.

suddenly, i misses learning playing drum from halina.

i misses hangout with halina and amy at the kiosk.

or at the beach.

but i'm making lemon cakes now,

soooo.

before the eating

the evening walk

Add caption

after all the eating

dreamlist.

2010-09-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

a guy who likes me for the way i am,
he doesn't need to look like anything in particular.
i'm wayyy over the physical factor,
i been crushing on tall,short, fat, skinny, long leg, short leg, rockstar, politician, jiwa kacau, tak de perasaan guy,
i'm open to anything.

it would be more amazing if he loves me for my weaknesses,
that is like the coolest things ever.

secondly, i want a lumix gf1 so bad!!!!!!!

hilda------

exausted,

2010-09-29T19:55:00.000+08:00

i just found out that my parents read my blog.
hahahahahahahhaha.

last time, my grandpa and grandma would check on my dad by going to place where he says that he's going.

now, my parents don't even have to leave the house to check on their kids.
they can just log in into facebook to check on their child well beings.

good for them.

hilda------

kehidupan? apakah itu? bunyi menarik sahaja

2010-09-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

kehidupan ataupun juga dikenali sebagai life.
ada orang pernah bercakap, kalau kita nak sound intellectual, kita compare two things than blame it on life.

my friend cakap i should blog on life or kehidupan.
saya hidup dalam kehidupan saya.
so far, goood.
ada bad day, ada good day.
bak kata kaiser chiefs ; you'll still have good day on bad day.

kehidupan saya macam roda. kejap di atas, kejap di bawah.
tapi agak pelik kerana ada rakan yang sangat baik saya selalu berkata bahawa saya sangat OPTIMIST.

agak contradict jika membaca unspoken thoughts saya.

this is my life currently,
hildaaaaa-

gambar tak senonoh part I

2010-09-26T21:35:00.000+08:00

di petang yang mendung ini, tetiba teringin nak dating.
tapi calon nya tiada. agak pathetic kan. biarlaaaa.

so, tetiba teringat kisah di zaman dulu.
the sweetest things a guy ever did to me.

ada my classmate ni, i think masa form 4 or 5. what he did is, he came from the back and he whisper 'i love you' to my ears when i was sitting alone at the bleachers at the stadium during the sport day practise. he totally caught me off guard. there's nothing going on between me and him. i don't have any feeling towards him but i think he's really sweet and who ever his gf is, very luckkkyyy

feeling butterfly in the stomach,
hildaaaaaaaaaa-----

opposite attraction almost works

2010-09-24T22:33:00.000+08:00

raya is about

battle won during fasting month

and spending time with people you care

your sister

the one that makes you smile

and be bold and crazy beautiful

they will help you shineee.

the good food is just the added bonus!!

hope it's not to late to wishhhh

HAPPPYYY BIRTHDAY MALAYSIA!!!!!

hildaaaaaa-

as i hold on to the past, i can't wait of the future but i don't want to be at this moment

2010-09-22T23:27:00.000+08:00

alexa chung

the girl with the pair of leg that i envy.

vain pot; yes, i am

stuck up; think so.

yet, so insecure

low self esteem, yes, i do. but i'm so good at faking it

daisy lowe, okay. just settle for this body.

hilda-------

damn you. i'm dedicating the FUCK YOU song to you.

2010-09-20T22:44:00.000+08:00

i still love alexa chung's leg.
but i think i might just settle for daisy lowe's body.
she's not skinny but she used to date mark ronson.
and currently dating dr who.

lantaklah kat kau dengan gadis idaman BMI perfect kau.
aku keciiiiwaaaaa kut.
tak sangka ada jugak well educated person like you.
tak pe, tak pe, tak pe.
kita tengok.

wait and see,
cause time is all i got.

MARKKKKKKK!

hilda-----------

i'm gonna write you a love song

2010-09-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

my very good friend says that i should do it for myself.
i think she's right.

but the fact that you exist,
makes me wanna do it for you.

but i think you're not worth it,
i know, you're not worth it.

that thing- the 'four letter' word makes you insane.

arggg, i'm totally doing it for myself.
but i will show off to you one day.
yes, i will.
show off; for myself!

hilda-----

and i told you once, then i told you twice

2010-09-08T15:23:00.000+08:00

MOOD: Happy but tired and sleepy.

last night was fun. had close family members around for dinner. mum cooked most of the dishes; mixed veggie, crab, prawn, curry, eggs and i made fried mushroom but halina fried it because i'm her big sis and she has to follow my instruction. hahaha, not, she volunteer to do so, she likes cooking i think. and had ayam madu too. skip rice, ate ate all the dishes except the crab. then, had cake and ice cream (thanks cikja and cikmir) then went to my "auntie" place for a while then the bazaar in front of the house.

today, had to wake up early because i volunteer to sent grandma to the airport. me and halina plan to hit the mall after that. so, we did. halina shopped til i dropped at forever 21. (i had to pay) i shopped just a little at f21, bought sunnies that i adore very much and stacked rings that are really fancy.hahaha. i bought bunch of tshirt at f21 and brands outlet. okay, this is totally random post on an evening that so random. pardon the sentences. i sound like a drunk-head. bye,

off to nap
hilda----

do i really want to be that person?

2010-09-07T11:46:00.000+08:00

i'm twenty years old apparently.
sleep early last night because i was really tired.
woke up to few missed calls, messages and facebook notification.

current reads

i'm a loner i think.
so,i'm very fortunate to have tons of people wishing me eventhough they totally didn't remember my bday.
it's just that they obligated to wish because it's stated in the event.
however, i thanked all of them personally. i feel like i need to.
they click on my page and type a few words.
i think i should do the same.

arent i a freak?
anyway, i'm staying in today. having a dinner with closed family tonight. and been shopping for the last few days. i think i need to watch my money, but i couldn't get my head of this two wedges and a pair of sandal. mum also tell me that whenever you see shoes that you like, get it. because nice shoes are hard to come by. maybe i'll get them before the sale is over.

i can hear the money flying away.

recent purchase; turning bohemian.

wush wush

hilda--

hello world, hope you're listening

2010-09-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

so, after the emo entry previously, i'm finaly home..
yayyyyyyyy!
right know, i'm blogging in the most uncomfortable and inappropriate way ever; blogging while cycling.
this is because i had my first nasi in like few weeks so feel a bit guilty.
but i promise my friend that i'll be having rice when home because i miss the ayam madu so much.
so, updateee...

my not so successful attempt playing guitar; tried to play zombie because sis says it's like the easiest song to learn :)

me on the stationary bike after nasi for berbuka.

just to share the pic taken the night before our last class for diploma.
i was a bit active due to coffee and infomation overloaded.
and i suck on the test the next day.

i can't say what i mean

2010-09-01T05:20:00.001+08:00

well, i can't wait to be home.
why do i like going home when i know i'm just gonna spent my time home lazing around?
it's because home is where you are comfortable the most.
you know you are more confident and happier home.
it's not home when you can't just go to bed and wake up without nothing to do.
yup, that's home.

home is in penang.
not the island, too busy and congested for my dad preference.
but it's okay, i don't mind as long i have the car.
home,
near to the golf course,
although, dad prefer fishing than golfing.
home,
a stone away from the bertam kiosk,
it's my fave hangout place with sister and her friends. they are much younger mind you.
they may have a different taste, but they know my type. thank god.

home is where,
mom is at.
dad is at.
hanif is at.
halina is at.
hafiz is not there but you're be annoyed when he's home, miss him when he's not.
hifny is at during the weekend, and you need to send something almost everyday to him at his boarding school.

we know we are dysfunction family. we know we are very sarcastic. we know we annoyed each other. we know we love each other. i miss you guys!

told ya we are very dysfunction. and yes, i have small eyes.
and we never have colour coordinated baju raya

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST ANNOYING MAN OF THE FAMILY!!!!!!!

HAFIZ HIZAM

may you make lots of money and give some to your beloved sister :)

hilda hizam

little miss blur

2010-08-31T06:13:00.002+08:00

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

hari ni aku bosan gila.
aku tak tau nak buat apa.
aku pun duduk depan laptop living lifeless.
aku pun gembira dengan hidup aku yang kebosanan.
aku gembira bila aku keseorangan
aku tak complain bila aku keseorangan.
aku ceria bila keseorangan.

hrmm, gembiranyaaaa.

hilda--

well, since i been home,

2010-08-30T03:01:00.001+08:00

my life has been a mess,
i miss your ginger hair and the way you like to dress,
why don't you come over, VALERIE.
Valerie, Valeeeeriee, why don't you come overrrr, Vaaaa lerr ieee?
****amy wino feat mark ronson. originally from the zuton.
triple woot woot

emosi sekarang kurang stabil. tapi masih maintain 1/4 hotness.
sepatutnya tgh study tp rest kejap.
kenapa emosi kurang stabil;
1. makan tak proper
2. nak balik penang.
3. dia ada org lain
4. statement tak leh blah dari seseorang.
5. minda tak leh stop create theory fitness dan hotness.
6. rindu real people with real meaning and real purpose of living.
6. nak hotness 4/4. yup, boleh di capai.

lantak la. aku tak kisah.

blog ini ada symptom2 bipolar tak?

to hell with it it. off with their heads.

time2 dengar lagu tak puih hati kaiser chiefs,,
hilda-

menarik kan bila belajar?

2010-08-27T17:22:00.000+08:00

so, presentation semua dah selamat di presentkan. agak terharu sbb salah satu presentation tu, lecture tu puji sikit. ada sikit kekembangan di paras perut dan kebawah. :P

okay, for my second presentation, we were asked to present on Beck Depression Inventory II. Agak simple since ni self report and most of the question agak direct forward. Based on the name, anyone can guess that this assessment is regarding depression.

so, setelah menilai beberapa component di dalam assessment ni, i came to conclusion that me and my partner in crime mungkin ada depression. tapi mereka ni mmg dah lama jd psychiatric patient; seorg tu di diagnose sbb OCD dan seorg tu bipolar (you know who you are) :P :P

symptom2 depression yang di state-kan di dalam DSM IV yang dialami kitaorg ialah weight loss (suka mak), fatigue, concentration difficulty, irritability, loss of energy, changes in appetite. tapi loss of interest in sex tu tak kut. mata masih memandang rambut dan jiwa kacau dalam kadar yang sama sebelum depression.

inilah akibat kalau depression tak di treatkan:

seharian memakai baju terbalik, nasib tak turun raf mcm ni,

jatuh saham mak!!

hilda--

You know you own my body but don't think that you control my mouth

2010-08-26T02:04:00.000+08:00

di satu petang yang panas, hilda duduk di cafe raf sambil type assignment dia.
walapun dia duduk di dalam kumpulan, dia sangat panas.
panas krim celebrity choice, panas cuaca terik dan panas di dalam hati.

lepas tu dia pasang earphone dan dengar lagu ni.
suara keith murray dan strumming of the guitar by chris cain menyebabkan dia tersenyum seorg2 di dalam hatinya.

You know you own my body but don't think that you control my mouth

okay, mmg saya mudah di cairkan dengan strumming guitar tu dan nyanyian selamba dengan simple words meluahkan perasaan.

okay, byee, nak sambung dengar WAS.

he says that he'll make me go bad

2010-08-23T15:35:00.000+08:00

what he doesn't know, i'm already a bad girl.
but what he doesn't know doesn't kill him.

for past few days, my mood had been very unstable. apologies peeps.
but something happen around me that make me wonder.

it is just my mind playing tricks on me?
or me harmlessly flirting with danger.

ada ke harmless flirting? wujudkah?

hilda----

your smile is the only drug i need.

2010-08-21T20:09:00.000+08:00

i'm a dreamer,
i Like it.

i'm a procrastinator,
i Like it.

i'm a story repeater,
i Like it.

i'm a daughter,
i Like it.

i'm a friend,
i Like it.

i'm an eldest sister,
i Like it.

i'm a student,
i Like it.

i'm Mark Ronson's girlfriend (in my dreams)
i Love it.

i have chubby legs (blame baba)
i Like it.

i kissed a girl and i like it.
okay, that's random.

try to live your life in a positive manner despite all the hassle you go through everyday. Take me for example, i woke up late, no food for berbuka, but with smile on my face, i break fast with chipsmore and a delicious yogurt drink. now, i'm high on sugar and bloated.

i still have bad days. but live the bad days enjoy the good days!

love,hilda-

time time macam ni

2010-08-18T02:26:00.000+08:00

aku nak cakap aku tak kisah,
aku kisah.

aku nak cakap to hell with it,
aku tak nak to hell with it.

aku nak cakap buat bodoh je,
aku tak nak buat bodoh.

aku nak ignore dan dengar michael cera dgn ellen page menyanyi,
aku dengar tapi takleh keluarkan that stuff from my head.

aku cakap je,
boleh ke aku buat.

bukan semua benda dalam tangan kita,
perasaan orang bukan dalam tangan kita.

nampak lain, cakap lain, rasa lain.
semua lain.

kalu aku expert fake my feelings,
mesti kau juga expect kan?

aku rasa aku tak nak fake dah boleh?
cakap senang, bukan mudah, aku taknak.
aku suka, aku suka kita bersama.
walaupun semua bullshit ni semua, aku suka.
sebab apa aku suka,
aku pun tak tau,
tapi aku suka
bila bersama.

sincerely, hilda

she's not broken,she's just a baby

2010-08-13T14:35:00.000+08:00

short term goal yang ingin dicapai ialah memakai skinny jeans pinkish topshop.

long term goal yang ingin di capai ialah kaki alexa chung.

treatment to achieve goals:

-exercise and calorie counting diet.

effect of the treatment:

-unhealthy hair due to excessive shampooing

-non glowing skin due to lack of vitamin

but to hell with it.

i only can see alexa chung's leg at the end of the tunnel.

hilda-

i don't need boxes wrap in string, just a chance we'll find a better day

2010-08-12T02:35:00.000+08:00

currently listening to goo goo dolls better days.
i think my classmates should listen to this song.
and put all the nonsense aside.
and maybe read 7 habits and how to win friends and influence people.

so, shit aside.
happy things that matters.

first of all,selamat berpuasa

puasa jangan tak puasa eh,

kalau tak puasa cover sikit.

kurangkan gossip, umpatan

relax eh, jangan kecoh

walaupun pelbagai cabaran dihadapi

hidup hanya sekali

so, lek lu, sap kok lu eh,

or shisha ke?

sebab benda sekecil kuman ni tak worth it

putus kawan, umpat2 buat berat bahu kiri je.

kan senang jadi budak, masalah dunia ialah mana mama dan susu.

hilda

for every kiss you gave me, i'll give you three

2010-08-10T15:56:00.000+08:00

bukan penderaan kanak-kanak.

hilda

time perembesan hormon melampau di dalam badan

2010-08-07T15:52:00.001+08:00

kau,
tanpa kau sedari,
kau,
sengaja,
tidak sengaja,

mencuri organ vital aku yang membantu pengedaran darah ke seluruh badanku.
bak kata chris martin dalam lagu yellow; for you, i bleed myself dry.

aku tahu perasan ni datang dan pergi,
aku kenal perasaan ku, aku kenal physiological badanku, aku kenal psychological aku.

tapi aku taknak biarkan ia pergi,
aku suka macam ni,
aku suka kau.
kau suka ke aku?

bloating,water retention,rice free
hilda-

bervain

2010-08-05T00:13:00.000+08:00

heart.

what is heart.

an organ that help circulate blood to your whole body.

did you know that you can actually die of broken heart?
seriously.

listen to my advise,
listen to your heart.

in contrast, although you have a beating heart with a dead brain,
it won't change a thing.
brain is important too.

so,
listen to my advise,
listen to your brain

okay, listen to my advise,
listen to your heart, use your brain.

your skin, oh your skin and bones.

2010-08-04T14:03:00.000+08:00

i was lying in bed listening to coldplay. then, yellow start playing. i was reading the lyrics and listening to chris martin singing that song.

a rush of emotion come over me.
i feel so in love.
suddenly, i wanted to be gwyneth paltrow.
i don't know who the song is dedicated to
but the simplicity of the words and how he sings it makes me realise that he really mean it.
he really mean it.
yup he really does love that person,

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called 'Yellow'

So then I took my time
Oh what a thing to've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know? You know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
'Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know? For you I bleed myself dry
For you I bleed myself dry

It's true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for

Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do

hilda

negative stigma

2010-08-03T13:54:00.000+08:00

masa aku masuk U ni, aku memang tak dak perasaan langsung.
aku sebenarnya tak nak pun, nak belajar tapi bukan kat sini,
kat mana pun aku tak tau la nak kata.

tapi aku masuk,lalui mms buat semua benda yang aku benci tapi aku buat.
aku tau aku sapa, orang suruhan. tapi at least aku buat, aku try enjoy apa yang patut masa buat tu. so win-win situation jugak laa.

aku datang dengan blanket kosong pink suci. tak ada stigma.
kat sini lah stigma tu terbentuk.
semangat melayu la

jap, stigma ni negative. aku rasa semenjak aku duk kat sini, memanglah aku mature pemikiran and physical. tapi aku rasa aku dah hilang. aku terpengaruh dengan stigma2 bodoh.

sebenarnya ni entri tengah hari orang yang tengah panas meletop sambil tengah lapar. kan aku cakap aku tak de stigma masa datang ttg kau. tapi lepas seketika, memang betul lah apa yang orang cakap. aku tak menyesal belajar dari pengalaman. aku tak bodoh belajar dengan cara ni, lebih baik dari dengar nasihat orang. yang bodoh tu kau kot. susah kut bila kuat observe ni, semua subconcious speech kau, little details in your action, aku perasan. jangan ingat aku bodoh, aku tak bodoh, dan aku tak suka.

yrs truly angry mob

right now, i living a life to mess around and play.

2010-07-30T17:28:00.001+08:00

because we had a big breakfast with arabica coffee beans

i'm still awake, reading this while my very slow internet connecting and disconnecting randomly.

hopefully, i'll be energise for the jog and the netball session later. yes, i'm aiming for those pair of legs.

i-did-it-before.
hilda-

enjoy yourself,take only what you need from me.

2010-07-27T13:23:00.001+08:00

http://www.whowhatwear.com/
website/full-article/
accessory-report-chanel-bags/

okay, ambition. that is what i'm very sure i'm lack of. pardon the last sentences, sounded so confusing. this is a few interesting things that i wish i could do and gain lot lot lot of money from it. okay, may be not lot lot lot of money but enough money to buy chanel bags, louboutins and a herve ledge dress. although, i'm sure i won't wear the herve ledge dress. :P

1. those people that find music to put on tv series.
i found out about this job after searching for that song that was in gossip girl ad.yes, i found out the song title and the band after a year of searching. but, i also discovered that there's a lady that in charge of searching suitable songs to put at a certain scene. besides that, she says that the perks of her job is that she gets to listen to new, undiscovered artist. which bring me to second coolest jobbbbbb...

2. works as jo whiley.
who the hell is jo whiley? she's a radio presenter etc etc etc. she's british. and she's known to 'discover' those brit indie band; artic monkeys, blah blah blah. but i don't want to be jo whiley because some people do not like her for reason i'm not sure of. thus i think the next job is cooler........

3. street fashion photographer.
i totally envy this one photographer. she works freelance for elle mag and her job is to take picture of fashionable people around those major fashion cities; those 4 ;NY, MILAN, PARIS, LONDON. she usually cover those model hanging out having ciggie before the fashion show and her photo is amazing. she's the reason that i'm addicted to elle fashion blog street chic. although her pics aren't many as they used to be, i still adore her and wants her job!!!!

4. do nothing but sipping a cup of low fat latte, people watching and write.
do i need to describe more. this is like the coolest job ever. :) :)

5. reality tv star.
this is the least coolest but still pretty cool. i just finish reading an article on LC. she's from laguna beach and the hills and she has a fashion line and writes two new york best selling books. pretty cool for people that have to act without memorising those long scripts.

okay, because i don't have an ambition when i was younger, i think this is the result. what do you think? can I achieve these? :P :P :P

hildaaaa

my momma says

2010-07-24T02:03:00.000+08:00

tiru ayat forrest gum kejap.

well, my momma says that don't trust guys that can easy says 'i love you' to you.
if he can easily says that, he can easily take it back.
i mention this to my 'jiwa kacau' companion( you know who you are cause you're like the one of the two person that commented on my blog),
she says that, "biasalah hilda, perempuan, mesti suka punya sweet talk ni" (paraphrase sikit)

okay!!

i have to admit, i tend to crush, then forget.
i'm just like those guys yang cakap i love you to one girl on the phone then kalih kat gf dia across the table then cakap i love you. macam tak de meaning dah that phases. yup, my crushes ni semua tak de meaning. i crush sini sana, lepas tu, lupa. tapi i redha crush sini sana, dia tidak menganggu hidup la. tak de la tidur tak lena, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah. fallen in love, itu biarlah rahsia.

motif blog tengah malam lepas balik bilik mumus ni sbb i ada crush baru. sebelum terlupa baik blog. :P :P :P

hilda-

bukan aku untuk mu,

2010-07-23T13:02:00.002+08:00

i'm blogging because i wanted to try the new blogger. *excited*
so, nonsense aside, let's talk crap *i'm being rubbish again*

i came out with this conclusion few months ago.
well, actually i heard this somewhere but i'm surprised that it's not publicly known.
A girl will find a guy who's like her father for husband/boyfriend.

but for me, i prefer,
a girl will find a guy who's an improved version of her father for husband/boyfriend.
no offense baba, you are a great guy. but like Microsoft and apple, they always update their software, so does human. you're a window 95 and perfectly match mama who is also window 95. me; i'm a window 7, so i need to find a window 7 too.

here is the story, i found my window 7. he's almost the same as my dad and yet so different from my dad. he went to the same school as my dad, sarcastic, owns a BMW (my dad owns one too in order to get chick) and he's so good looking. in addition, he writes. he has this hobbies that he does in his free time that i find very interesting. but, he's taken. yeah. end of story.

apparently, according to my friends he's the only malay guy i heart.
no worries, i'm a believer.
i know there's a window 7 out there waiting for me to update him.
i'll take my time, cause time is all i got.

hildaa-

hip,hip,island in the sun

2010-07-23T00:32:00.003+08:00

listening to weezer inspire me to write a love song.

but, i'm no taylor swift nor nick hodgson.

so, bear with me.

woooooo,woooooooooo

i'm so excited when you approve me on facebook.

i waited by the laptop,

wasting hours of potential sleep,

just to see the red number on the top of the browser,

stating you approved me.

Now that you approve me,

i'm dilemma,

should i just keep you in my friend's list,

or say something?

thank you, perhaps.

but i'm too shy.

chorus

oooooo, i'm in dilemmaa,

dilemma,

i don't want to be in dilemma.

wwoooooo,

dilemma

repeat chorus til the end.

this can be play with open chord.

ps:dedicating this song to those who have to wait at least one year til i approve the request :P

hilda-

hilda hizam will stop being perfect, it's just not worth it

2010-07-21T00:58:00.003+08:00

for my 200th post, i'll write the most unoriginal post ever.

i'll just post some random song that i'm listening.

first i decided to post selena gomez's naturally.

ignore what people wanted to say about me listening to selena's song.

i love this song, i know it's those teeny pop song that you must hate to be cool.

FU, i want to listen to this song.

then, rediscover song started playing after selena's song.

now, i'm dilemma. gosh, what a complicated life?

You are the thunder and I am the lightning,

And I love the way you know who you are,

And to me it's exciting,

When you know it's meant to be,

Everything comes naturally,

It comes naturally, SELENA GOMEZ-NATURALLY

I don’t want you to leave

Without dancing with me

I don’t want you to leave

Before you kiss me

So go and get your keys

I think that we should leave

I really think he sees

You looking at me, REDISCOVER- KISS ME

Today as you shake off the drunken degree,

all that is left is the faint memory,

the downing,the drugs,all the nights on the tiles,

it's hard to remember but totally worthwhile,KAISER CHIEFS- YOU WANTED HISTORY

HILDA HIZAM

PS: random kan?

you're just some racist who can't tie my laces, F U

2010-07-20T14:19:00.001+08:00

life is awesome,
especially last week.

spend wednesday morning playing basketball against the boys for the interventation lab.
then, discovered that class on thursday has been cancelled.
penang came straight to my mind.
took the midnight bus to penang.
spending thursday, friday and the weekends in penang.
then, came back to college on sunday night to discover that class on monday has been cancelled.
thus, making it a 5 days break.

life is just awesome

hilda

jangan bilang benci, nanti jatuh cinta, susahh.

2010-07-13T00:18:00.005+08:00

okay, orang tua selalu cakap macam tu.

kalau kita cakap kita benci sesuatu or seseorang, nanti kita mesti suka.

dan kalau budak lelaki dan perempuan suka gaduh mesti cakap 'nanti kahwin punya'

kisahnya macam ni, dulu-dulu i hate kanye west. dia tu tersangatlah perasan. ingatkan bagus gila la konon, crash orang punya acceptance speech suka hati. belagak dengan 50 cent yang kononya album dia boleh jual lebih dari album 50 cent (tapi mmg betul pun, tp still unacceptable la). ada la lagi banyak yang boleh di kutuk kalau nak tapi cukuplah.

lepas tu kan, a few months kut, i started to listen to kanye's song. best jugak. dia ni kawan mark ronson (my fave dj/producer/music maker/heartbreaker). kira inovative jugak la dia ni. video dia semua kira out of the world jugak, tak lah typical scantily clad women in thong with high heels dengan very low cut top.

nak di jadikan cerita, after a few months of becoming kanye's fan ( tak la fangirl tahap dewa) i baru realise yang dia ni menyanyi guna auto tune. tetiba turn off pulak. aduh.

so sekarang i gila kat mr hudson. dia blonde, british (drool kejap) and kanye's protege.

kesimpulannya, ada dua.

don't judge a book by it's cover. and think before you say something incase you have to eat you word. therefore, always say sweet things incase you need to eat your words it wouldn't taste bad :p

owh and people change. kan?

gambar kanye dengan model girlfriend dia,amber rose.

hilda.

update, update,

2010-07-10T12:04:00.005+08:00

why are people constantly need to be updated?

twitter , facebook on mobile,

so you could know what your friends are up to.

your hundreds friends.

okay,

update on me for people who actually care.

i'm back in college.

still not very fond of this place although it's my last semester here.

me and my friends are placed all over this college thus when we wanted to have lunch/dinner, i need to send like 4 to 5 sms to inform of the dinner, mcm gossip girl la pulak. :P

i'm winning the battle of the bulges. pray for my victory. although, i hate to say i'm gonna be happier if i'm skinnier, i think i'll be. although, i know i'm not gonna be any happier if i'm skinnier. omg, i'm so complicated.

ps: i just notice that both of my pic is australia related. random. does it mean anything? australian boyfriend? doctor-australia-rumah-cantik-neighbour?

hilda-

smile :)

2010-06-19T05:00:00.003+08:00

well,

i'm still single.

i tend to have crush on people that won't notice me.

i tend to fall head over heel over older guys that won't date girls my age unless it's for sex.

so, it's 5 in the morning and i'm finishing my glee.

why i love finn?

he's tall. i like tall guy.

in addition to his height, he got meat and not really skinny which i find very sexy.

i like how he has belly that i feel like sleeping on it.

i love how he's so tall and meaty that makes him so cuddly.

i love how he's so tall, my head just fit perfectly in his chest.

oh, he sings. i love guy who sings.

people says the way to guys heart is by his stomach,

the way to a girl heart is thru her ear.

and he plays drum.

i don't know why it's so sexy when guy bang those drum set.

the passion i think.

i like guys with passion,

like photographers that lie down in hot tar circuit in sepang just to get a good angle of the racers and pak lah in the antic car.

okay, that's enough, don't get me started on photographer.

insomniac

hilda

srilanka

2010-06-17T21:47:00.003+08:00

for future hilda,

since i don't own a diary anymore, this is the appropriate place to keep track of the places i wanted to visit.

just finished watching ian wright shows out of bound. he went to sri lanka. thus, for this entry i'm gonna talk bout sri lanka. why i wanted to go to sri lanka?

i want to go to the beaches.

i want to travel in the train that i know would definitely give me headache but i hope by that time i would figure out the suitable meds for my headache.

i want to try the nightlife

i want to stroll down the green mountain.

okay bye.

on a lighter note

2010-06-14T23:57:00.004+08:00

lately my blog post sounds a bit depressing.

so, lets talk about something less depressing.

it's world cup season, last night, one of my teams, germany, played against australia. they won 4 nil.

that's not why i'm trying to point out here.

you know that things you wear on your feet that malaysian called selipar jepun

aussie called it thong

so, then, the thing with string that fits into girls (sometimes men) butt cheek

is known as g-string.

it took me few month to come to my senses why is it called thong. i'm that slow.

hil-